Bloody Ridiculous

Bloody Ridiculous
“The game is afoot.” – Sherlock Holmes
This morning Sherlock arose to partake in his Sunday morning ritual of two hours of Doctor Who on The BBC when he was stunned to find the Vikings playing the Browns. Upon waking Management, a rant ensued that opined the state of futbol in America (no World Cup?), American football (you sent over the Vikings and Browns?!?), and the fact that Management had yet to post the Week 7 recap even though Sherlock had submitted his quantitative analysis on Tuesday night. So here’s a quick rundown.
Week 7 saw the second-highest point total of 2017. Ryan’s Express, who, after winning in Week 6, was handed the Keep Calm Banner in disbelief, spent Week 7 hammering out 124 points in their win over 5-1 Practice Squad, who was dealt their second loss of the season. Other teams dialing up triple-digit performances were Bahamas Bob with their 114-61 win over Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins, Scrappy Doo’s with their 113-78 smashing of Minneapolis Pale Horses, and The Fighting Irish Illini who scored 101 over Pacific Mighty “O”.
Dusty Desert Dogs earned their second win of the season behind Elliott’s 39 points as they won 98-61 over The Jalopy Faces.
Maryland Mad Bombers and Ashville Vipers continued their charge to the top of the respective conferences as they both won, taking down Unfettered Valor and Tucson Javelinas, respectively.
Lastly, in a series that had odd beginnings with back-to-back ties in 2013 and 2014, Galaxy Rockets beat NY State of Mind 79-57, rising to 3-4 on the season and 3-1-2 in the series.

And the awards go to…
The WRKM Axe: After gaining possession of The WRKM Axe in Week 5 while averaging 92.2 points per game, Bahamas Bob has continued to improve, raising their average now to 96.1 points per game.
Syrup of Ipecac: Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins, though challenged by Ryan’s Express’ 124 points this week, still hangs onto The Syrup with their 132 point, Week 2 performance.
Hello Kitty Sticker: Success always takes a little luck, which Ashville Vipers gladly took with their 69-55 win this week which pushed them to 5-2 atop The McCoys.
10th Man Award: They didn’t need the points, but The Fighting Irish Illini were stunned when T.J. Yeldon not only scored 16 points more then one of their starting RBs (19 vs 3), but those 19 points were the first points scored by Yeldon all season.
Keep Calm Banner Continuing one of the more odd trends of 2017, Galaxy Rockets becomes the second owner of The Banner (quickly relinquished by Ryan’s Express) to have a win in the week they receive it. Galaxy Rockets currently average 69.4 points per game.

Damn Lies
“There are three types of lies – lies, damn lies, and statistics.” – Benjamin Disraeli
– Galaxy Rockets’ average 69.4 points per game is the highest average points ever for a team who is in possession of the Keep Calm Banner.
– In a more hidden stat about scoring and performance being a bit misaligned, Dusty Desert Dogs is the high-scoring team of The McCoys…and they are currently in dead last in the conference.
– Statistically, this is the latest a blog has ever been posted by Management.

Next Week
“To the morgue. There’s not a moment to lose – which one can so rarely say of the morgue.” – Sherlock Holmes
Next week (this week? later this week?) – anything can happen.

Sherlock’s Deduction (4-3)
“I never guess. It is a shocking habit.” – Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock is sliding back to .500 on the weekly picks which typically makes him risk averse in his picks. Trying to buck that response, Sherlock picks The Jalopy Faces to slow down the top dogs of the Hatfields, Maryland Mad Bombers, in this Father v. Son match-up.

Sincerely – Management

The Best Around

The Best Around
“You’re the best! Around!” – Joe Esposito
If you were to Google the lyrics to “You’re the Best” by Joe Esposito of Karate Kid fame (go ahead, we’ll wait), you’ll find that they are represented as shown above, broken into two screamed statements. When you listen to the song it makes perfect sense. It also makes perfect sense that good ol’ Joe had this song as a one-hit wonder. Wondering where Management is going with this? Well…
Speaking of one-hit wonders, two teams in The FBF are still sitting on a single week of glory after Week 6 action. Dusty Desert Dogs stayed at 1-5 as they lost to Galaxy Rockets 84-78, losing to the Rockets organization for the fourth season in a row (Dogs won the inaugural match-up in 2013). Like mother, like son, Minneapolis Pale Horses hauled in their 5th loss of the season, much to the chagrin of The FBF as they watched Wayne “The Train” Gallman cough up the Pale Horses’ lead to Maryland Mad Bombers’ D. Thomas on Sunday night. With the win, the Mad Bombers improved to 5-1 atop the Hatfields. Practice Squad also moved to 5-1 as they enjoyed the safety of playing Week 6’s lowest scoring team, Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins, who put up an unseasonably low 45 points to Practice Squad’s 80. Another Pittsburgh-based team, although with an affinity for The Empire State, NY State of Mind came up short in their quest for win number 5 as they suffered their first loss to the surging Ashville Vipers who advanced to 4-2 with their 60-50 win over the now 4-1-1 McCoy leaders.
Also in the world of surges, Unfettered Valor, who began the season 0-4 has now won two games in a row, posting Week 6’s highest score in their 107-98 win over Bahamas Bob who, despite putting up Week 6’s second highest score, fell to 2-4 on the season.
Elsewhere in The FBF, two teams entered the week 2-3 facing 4-1 opponents and handed out upsets. Pacific Mighty “O” moved to .500 while knocking The Jalopy Faces to 4-2, 91 to 53, while Ryan’s Express also jumped to 3-3, dishing out an L to Scrappy Doo’s with a 89-60 win. One other team that moved to 3-3 with their win was The Fighting Irish Illini, who defeated Tucson Javelinas 97-63, dropping the Javs to 2-3-1 on the season.

And the awards go to…
The WRKM Axe: Bahamas Bob retains the Axe for the second week in a row as they average 93.2 points per game.
Syrup of Ipecac: Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins holding strong with The Syrup for their Week 2 performance of 132 points.
Hello Kitty Sticker: All that matters is the W – Practice Squad moves to 5-1 with a Hello Kitty Sticker to boot in Week 6.
10th Man Award: Ryan’s Express gets a box of chocolates for (understandably) thinking Adrian Peterson would continue to suck even though he had relocated from N’awlins to Fee-nicks. Cost the Express 16 points but not the win in Week 6.
Keep Calm Banner Ryan’s Express is the first recipient of the Banner in 2016…keep your head up and read the statistics call-outs below.

Damn Lies
“There are three types of lies – lies, damn lies, and statistics.” – Benjamin Disraeli
– Week 6 Scoring Bizarro World: Bahamas Bob possesses The WRKM Axe with a 2-4 record, the first team ever to not have 5 wins through 6 weeks while having The Axe…Ryan’s Express possesses the Keep Calm Banner with a 3-3 record, the first team to not have a losing record while having the Banner…so yes, for those keeping score at home, the organization with the Keep Calm Banner has a better record than the team with The WRKM Axe.
– Ryan’s Express had 3 of the top 6 scoring RBs in Week 6 and only started two of them, still won, and somehow has the Keep Calm Banner…sounds like a recipe for the rest of The FBF to definitely NOT keep calm about.
– Streaks: Maryland Mad Bombers are 5-1 after losing in Week 1; Ashville Vipers are 4-2 after being 1-2 through 3 weeks; Unfettered Valor is 2-4 after starting the season 0-4 and had the top score in Week 6.

Next Week
Last Chance U
Week 7 is the final week of isolated Hatfield/McCoy match-ups before we cross no-man’s land and duke it out with our neighbors. Will the two top scoring teams (Bahamas Bob and Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins) have a high scoring showdown even though both sit at 2-4? Will Minneapolis Pale Horses or Dusty Desert Dogs get their 2nd win of 2017 by taking out 4-2 opponents (Scrappy Doo’s and The Jalopy Faces, respectively)? Will Maryland Mad Bombers and Practice Squad rise to 6-1, or get lulled to sleep by the records of their hot opponents? Week 7 should be a wild one.

Sherlock’s Deduction (4-2)
“I never guess. It is a shocking habit.” – Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock called the win by the on fire Ashville Vipers. What does Sherlock see as a big win in Week 7? Sherlock picks Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins to regain The WRKM Axe with a big win over Bahamas Bob.

Sincerely – Management

A Poifect Score

A Poifect Score
“I got a poifect score!” – Curly
Midway through the Chicago/Minnesota hockey baseball soccer football game on Monday night, when the score was 3-2, you may have spaced out while staring into your pumpkin ale, thinking, “Gee, is it just me, or does the NFL suck at scoring this year?”. And with that thought, you would have been absolutely correct. Sure, we hear Scrappy Doo’s yelling about how their top scoring player was their kicker (J. Tucker; 13pts) and that was all they needed to take down the only 4-0 team left in The FBF (Practice Squad), but they were fortunate enough to be one of FOUR teams to win while scoring fewer than 80 points in Week 5 – that’s half of The FBF’s games this past week. They moved to 4-1 with the win. Another first that occurred during a sub-80pt victory was Unfettered Valor scratching the goose egg from the front of their record as they beat Minneapolis Pale Horses 76-62, leaving both teams at 1-4 on the season. The Jalopy Faces were another sub-80 winner, moving to 4-1 as they defeated The Fighting Irish Illini 76-59. Rounding out the Sub-80 Winner Club this week was Maryland Mad Bombers who defeated Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins 79-60 to move to 4-1. That’s a lot of 4-1 teams winning while scoring under 80 points you say? We’ll return to that later.
One team that earned their fourth win while scoring more than 80 points (heaven forbid) was NY State of Mind who rose to an FBF-best 4-0-1 as they rode their Jags Defense 26pts to an 84-71 victory over Dusty Desert Dogs. If you like seeing something extra scary, check out the bench of this match-up, where 11 of 14 bench players between the two teams were on bye in Week 5.
Before you get all down and out about scoring, there were a few teams that brought the noise like Anthrax and Public Enemy in Week 5. Bahamas Bob, after getting called out in the Week 4 blog returned to their Week 1 form by posting 100 in their win over Ryan’s Express, more than doubling the Express’ 43 points, leaving both teams at 2-3. Tucson Javelinas flashed a bit of their 2016 form as they took down Galaxy Rockets 107-67. Finally, in the biggest beat down of the 2017 season, Ashville Vipers beat Pacific Mighty “O” 109-41, advancing to 3-2 as Mighty “O” dropped to 2-3. The 68 point margin of victory was more than 7 teams scored in Week 5.

And the awards go to…
The WRKM Axe: And just like that The Axe is on the move, being passed to Bahamas Bob who have averaged 92.2 points per game through 5 weeks.
Syrup of Ipecac: Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins may be hanging onto to this trophy all season long with their single week score of 132.
Hello Kitty Sticker: Ashville Vipers couldn’t be satisfied with having the top score of Week 5, they had to do it while facing the lowest scorer of the week.
10th Man Award: It wouldn’t have saved their Week 5 performance, but Ryan’s Express gets a box of chocolates for leaving RB McKinnon’s 20 points on their bench while RB Henry dropped a buckshot.

Damn Lies
“There are three types of lies – lies, damn lies, and statistics.” – Benjamin Disraeli
– So far in 2017, 15 teams have won while scoring fewer than 80 points, more than was seen in the entire 2016 season (13 instances). As a matter of fact, the most wins by teams scoring fewer than 80 points in a single season was 22 in 2015.
– Through 5 weeks, 4 teams have faced, on average, fewer than 67 points per game from their opponents. When looking at the first 5 weeks in 2013-2016, only 3 other teams have faced fewer than 67 points per game on average. It should come as no surprise, but all 4 of the teams in 2017 are 4-win teams. High five to Scrappy Doo’s for having 4 wins while facing a whopping 73.6 points per game. *insert eye-roll here*
– With all this talk of low scoring, please take a moment to pour out a splash of your favorite alcoholic beverage for Galaxy Rockets who sit at 1-4 while facing an FBF-high 88 points per game, including two +100 weeks.

Next Week
“The post-game show is brought to you by…Christ, I can’t find it. To hell with it.” – Harry Doyle
The low-score epidemic continues as only four teams are projected to score more than 80 points in Week 6. Dusty Desert Dogs are even projected to score a monster 90 points as they face Galaxy Rockets (surprised? see bullet #3 of this blog’s stats segment). All games look to be a good combo of records squaring off but the oddity of the bunch is 4-1 Maryland Mad Bombers going against 1-4 Minneapolis Pale Horses. What’s odd about that? Both teams are projected to score 76 points.

Sherlock’s Deduction (3-2)
“I never guess. It is a shocking habit.” – Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock tries to right the ship by picking Ashville Vipers to ride their wave of points by defeating NY State of Mind.

Sincerely – Management

Preview of the Future?

Preview of the Future?
“It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.” – Yogi Berra
As it undoubtedly goes in every week of The FBF, half of the teams say, “That’s what I’m talking about!” with zeal. The other half, with a tone of dread and inevitability, say, “That’s what I’m talking about…”. It is all about how the rhythm of each team’s season is starting to get familiar, and for some that is awesome, and for others, that is horrifying. So what were teams talking about in Week 4?
The Maryland Mad Bombers season continued to gain altitude as they move to 3-1 with a 3-game win streak. Passing them on the way down in a free fall was their opponent Bahamas Bob who is riding a 3-game losing streak to 1-3. Another team that improved to 3-1 was Scrappy Doo’s who needed 91 points to edge Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins’ 87 points whose 8pt Chiefs defense came up short on Monday night, leaving the Ninnymuggins at 2-2 through four weeks.
Minneapolis Pale Horses and Ryan’s Express had a storied 2015 in which they had memorable clashes culminating in The Black Sheep Battle. Being 2017, their Week 4 tangle was the kind of game most people use to sleep off their morning Bloody Marys in prep for the Sunday night game. Pale Horses won…we think…it’s somewhere in here…
A team that has flipped things around from previous seasons in NY State of Mind, who moved to 3-0-1 as they ousted a kicker-led attack (not sure if that’s a real thing) by The Fighting Irish Illini, 78-67. The other Pittsburgh-based team, Practice Squad, continued their undefeated run as they move to 4-0 with their win over Unfettered Valor who dropped to 0-4 in their efforts to land their first W of the season. One team that was successful in their endeavor for that first win was Tucson Javelinas who posted 81 points while dropping Pacific Mighty “O” to 2-2. The Jalopy Faces kept themselves in the fight among The McCoys with their 83-54 win over Galaxy Rockets, advancing to 3-1, just a half game behind NY State of Mind.
Lastly, Dusty Desert Dogs went with their Week 3 recipe for success and kicked up dust with 95 points for the second week in a row, only to have their efforts bitten by Ashville Vipers who improved to 2-2 with their 107 points, the top score of Week 4.

And the awards go to…
The WRKM Axe: Week 4 means the first handing out of The WRKM Axe for 2017 – which begins in the hands of Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins with their average score of 98.7 points per week. When you consider this is a maple syrup chugging team that talks to narwhals, you may want to be concerned that they now have an axe.
Syrup of Ipecac: Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins still hoarding The Syrup with their Week 2 performance of 132 points.
Hello Kitty Sticker: Needing only 66 points to move to 4-0 as their opponent scored 41 has Practice Squad already having Black Sheep tendencies.
10th Man Award: Maryland Mad Bombers, in mocking fashion, edged Bahamas Bob 81-79 while leaving 21 points on their bench with their Texans D (22pts vs 1pt scored by Eagles D).

Damn Lies
“There are three types of lies – lies, damn lies, and statistics.” – Benjamin Disraeli
– Elaborate Stat of the Week: Bahamas Bob scored a scary 126 points in their Week 1 win, but have since gone 0-3 losing by 11pts, 2pts, and 2pts. Worst part? The daiquiri sipping crew has yet to have an opponent score more than they scored on Thursday night of Week 1 (88 points).
– NY State of Mind has won as many games in 2017 as they won in their combined campaigns of 2015 and 2016 (3-0-1 vs 3-21-0).
– Top tier performances shook out in a unique way in Week 4 – The top scoring team (Ashville Vipers) defeated the 2nd highest scoring team (Dusty Desert Dogs), and the 3rd highest scoring team (Scrappy Doo’s) took down the 4th highest scoring team (Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins)*

Next Week
“It’s sort of hope amongst the ruins, I think. To me, we’re all in the great wide open.” – Tom Petty
Four games to mention for Week 5 in The FBF. Practice Squad aims for a 5-0 start against 3-1 Scrappy Doo’s and Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins throw down with Maryland Mad Bombers. Games to sleep off your morning whisky during? Minneapolis Pale Horses have a snoring contest with Unfettered Valor, and Galaxy Rockets play Tucson Javelinas to determine who can officially declare it hockey season.

Sherlock’s Deduction (3-1)
“I never guess. It is a shocking habit.” – Sherlock Holmes
Oh how the mighty have fallen! Sherlock posts his first mispick of 2017. Fear not, Sherlock is prepared to right his wrongs. Sherlock predicts Ryan’s Express to beat Bahamas Bob, probably by 2-3 points at most.

Sincerely – Management

*Stat was provided by Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins management and recognition of such was assured