*panicked, terror-filled screams*

*panicked, terror-filled screams*
“I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m just gonna bash your brains in.” – Jack Torrance
Pacific Mighty “O” keep scoring mountains of point. Ryan’s Express keeps winning. This horror movie is already a slaughterhouse mess and we’re only hitting the midway point. No one would want to say that things are getting out of hand, but there are four teams that are starting to kill off other members of the group and if teams don’t making better decisions (run outside, not upstairs, people), the bodycount is going to push this season to an R rating.

And the awards go to…
The WRKM Axe: Pacific Mighty “O” is murdering people, averaging 106.3 pts/gm through seven weeks, which is second only to 2020’s Javs who averaged 108/gm at this point.
Syrup of Ipecac: Pacific Mighty “O” still is making everyone throw up in fright with their Week 6 score of 132pts.
Hello Kitty Sticker: Ashville Vipers took an easy one in Week 7, winning 72-34. (34???)
10th Man Award: The Fighting Irish Illini left 23pts on their bench I their 59pt loss, so, at least they get this.
Keep Calm Banner: Scrappy Doo’s is averaging 70.3pts/gm so far, but maybe Week 8 will see them raise from the dead.

Damn Lies
“There are three types of lies – lies, damn lies, and statistics.” – Benjamin Disraeli
• History repeating itself. 2020 Black Sheep The Jalopy Faces started the season 0-2, just like 2021 Black Sheep Who Drafted did, last season. The Jalopy Faces finished intra-conference play at 3-3-1. JUST like Who Drafted did last season. At this point, if following history, The Jalopy Faces should brace themselves for a 4-game losing streak.
• Ryan’s Express has scored 666pts through 7 weeks. That’s…unsettling. Has a team ever done that? Well, in 2014, through 8 weeks, The Jalopy Faces had scored 666pts. AND SO HAD RYAN’S EXPRESS. Get behind thee, satan!
• When Ryan’s Express made it to 5-0, they become the 2nd team (3rd occurrrence) to do so (Who Drafted in ’15 and ’19). They then became the first team to ever start a season 6-0. And now the first to start 7-0. You can see where this is going.

Next Week
“Here’s to five miserable months on the wagon, and all the irreparable harm is has caused me.” – Jack Torrance
You spend the whole off-season reading and watching about football. Talking heads and blog writers you’ve never met, whom have no credible insight outside of laying in bed all day and staring at their Ryan Leaf poster. They said that one WR was going to go off this season. How could they be wrong? And how in the world could any have predicted that that one RB who had a brutal injury last year would get injured again this year? Such unprecedented happenings.
That’s fine. We’re entering inter-conference play. Time to hole up in your mental Overlook Hotel, focus on what really matters, and come out swinging in the second half of the season. But, there is some home. This upcoming week we see the top monster of each conference in a death match, Ryan’s Express (7-0) vs Pacific Mighty “O” (5-1-1). Godzilla vs Mothra wasn’t this exciting.

Sherlock’s Deduction (1-3)
“I never guess. It is a shocking habit.” – Sherlock Holmes

So it is not…going…well, for Sherlock this season. I’ll resist any veiled Pet Semetary references here. He’s sitting right here, and the last thing Management needs is a Cujo situation. While there is a death match of leaders in Week 8, Sherlock is betting on the dead match of Horses (2-5) vs Javs (2-5), going with the elder of the RWDs since Sherlock knows the Javs aren’t ones to let their kin win at anything.

Boo – Management

We’re Back!

We’re Back!
“We’re back! Yeaaahh boy!” – Bobby Brown
Did Management just quote Track 4 from the Ghostbusters 2 soundtrack? Yeah, we did. And it’s incredibly fitting, for after taking a couple week hiatus from the blog, Management has gotten something back out there. And, sure, while you may be hoping for a blog experience that matches that of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man stomping down the streets of New York causing havoc, only to find you’re getting a painting (a painting!), pink goo, and a walking Statue of Liberty, hell…it’s better than getting nothing at all.

And the awards go to…

The WRKM Axe: The WRKM Axe has been out there for three weeks now and changed hands once over that time. Weeks 4 and 5 saw The Axe in the possession of Ryan’s Express (95.8pts and 100.2pts avg, respectively) who had it for just their 3rd and 4th weeks ever, getting back to Weeks 11 and 12 when they had it to close out the 2018 season. But, Pacific Mighty “O” exploded for 132pts in Week 6 which earned them The Axe, averaging 104.8pts/gm.

Syrup of Ipecac: Lots of action with The Syrup, so we’ll list out where we’ve been. Last we saw, Practice Squad had The Syrup in Week 3, still from their Week 1 108 performance. Week 4 it was Ryan’s Express who scored 123pts, then over to Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins in Week 5 when they put up 127pts, and now it sits with Pacific Mighty “O” based on their Week 6 132pts.

Hello Kitty Sticker: The past three weeks saw stickers handed out to Pacific Mighty “O” in Week 4, Scrappy Doo’s in Week 5, and Unfettered Valor in Week 6. Only Unfettered Valor took advantage, though, easing into a win 72-60, whereas “O” and Doo’s showed no chill, winning their creampuff games 107-45 and 105-63, respectively.

10th Man Award: Practice Squad in Wk4 (27pts), Scrappy Doo’s in Wk5 (17pts), Maryland Mad Bombers in Wk6 (21pts), but, they all won. Meh.

Keep Calm Banner: Week 6 is when the Banner makes it’s first appearance, and the first in 2021 to hand it over their fireplace is Scrappy Doo’s with 72.2pts. Did the 2017 Black Sheep also slip in to take the Banner in the final week of 2020? Maybe…maybe…

Damn Lies

“There are three types of lies – lies, damn lies, and statistics.” – Benjamin Disraeli
• Week 5 saw 8 teams score 100pts or more, topping the previous mark of 6 teams hitting triple digits in a single week, which has happened four different times. In addition, 7 of 8 games in Week 5 saw someone score 100pts or more (thanks duo from Tucson…), which easily topped the previous record of 6 games from Week 6 of 2018.
• Through 6 weeks the FBF has averaged 84.3pts/gm, which is one of the better starts to a season we’ve seen. While typically the latter half of the season sees about a 3-4pts/gm drop, if the FBF manages to maintain this scoring pace, it could tip over as the season with the most average points per game we’ve ever seen.
• Weeks 3-6 have seen a first in The FBF – The Syrup of Ipecac being possessed by four different teams over the course of four weeks (Practice Squad Wk3, Ryan’s Express Wk4, Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins Wk5, Pacific Mighty “O” Wk6), topping the one time it changed to new owners three times over three week in 2014 (Team Shirritt Wk3, Pacific Mighty “O” Wk4, Mayland Mad Bombers Wk5). Next Week “You will perish in flame! You and all your kind!” – Louis Tully Week 7 brings us the final round of conference play and as things currently sit, only four teams are above .500. With none of those teams facing each other in Week 7, we could see them dragged back down to earth among the rest of The FBF, or notch wins which could give them a leg up as we hit the mid-point of the season.

Sherlock’s Deduction (1-2)
“I never guess. It is a shocking habit.” – Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock’s had plenty of time to think over his Week 4 miss. For Week 7, Sherlock picks The Fighting Irish Illini to bump up over .500 as conference play wraps up.

Sincerely – Management

Week Three!

Week Three!
“But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.” – Paulo Coelho
Week 3. It’s a great week in The FBF because it forces everyone to either be above or below the .500 mark and – sonuvabitch. Pacific Mighty “O” and The Jalopy Faces tied. So, lo and behold, Pacific Mighty “O” sits at .500. hastily deletes rest of pre-written Week 3, flowery prose and all So what does that leave us. We have two undefeated teams remaining – Ryan’s Express and Ashville Vipers. Both have made The Fighting Four twice, but neither have finished a season as a Black Sheep. In terms of making The Fighting Four, it leaves those two teams feeling great. Oddly enough, Maryland Mad Bombers, at 2-1, have a 5% chance of making The Fighting Four which is below The Jalopy Faces (0-2-1, 9% chance) and Unfettered Valor (0-3-0, 8% chance), which leads Management to believe that the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network’s alogrithm must be drunk again. With 12 teams at either 2-1 or 1-2 (ugh, or 1-1-1), ther is still a LOT of hopes yet to be crushed, out there. On a final note – if you’re thinking that with it being October that Management is writing up the blogs wearing Uggs and a plaid scarf whilst drinking pumpkin-anything beveraged, you’d be right. But what about the rest of the outfit, you ask? Nope. That’s it. Let that sink in.

And the awards go to…
Syrup of Ipecac: Practice Squad’s 108pts still holding strong, but how long will it last?
Hello Kitty Sticker: The Fighting Irish Illini push themselves to a 2-1 record with a nice and easy W in Week 3, “taking down” Chicago Stonks 96-63.
10th Man Award: Too bad Scrappy Doo’s left 19pts on their bench, there Week 3 loss could have been only a semi-whomping.

Damn Lies
“There are three types of lies – lies, damn lies, and statistics.” – Benjamin Disraeli
• Two teams reached the 50-win mark in Week 3 of FBF Season IX – Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins and Tucson Javelinas, which now solidifies half (8) of The FBF having 50 wins or more in their history.

• The Pacific Mighty “O” v. The Jalopy Faces eye-roll-fest was the 11th tie in FBF history, but only the second since the 2017 season.

• This is the first time either Ashville Vipers or Ryan’s Express have started off a season 3-0.

Next Week
“If you know the enemy, and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” – Sun Tzu
Yes, that quote makes one imagine Management hand-writing the blog each week on aged parchment in the annals of a stuffy library. Which is ridiculous, of course. We only do that for the first draft we write out. Regardless. Why the quote? Because Week 4 of FBF Season IX is when 15 teams in the league will play their 100th regular season game (Unfettered Valor joined in 2014, so, 88 for them). Imagine it like some homecoming game. Maybe you’ll retire the number of that player who scored 47pts for you back in 2016. Maybe you’ll get blitzed on Stroh’s and not be allowed in the stadium, all whilst screaming about how your dad is a lawyer. Who knows, amirite?

Sherlock’s Deduction (1-1)
“I never guess. It is a shocking habit.” – Sherlock Holmes

The Practice Squad v. Maryland Mad Bombers is a 2-1-0 battle which could have Fighting Four implications. Despite the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network’s algorithm says, Sherlock sides with the Bombers in this one.

Sincerely – Management