Fright Night

Fright Night
“We all float down here.” – Pennywise
Pennywise must have had The FBF in mind when he said those sweet words to Georgie (disregard the subsequent arm removal). We all do float around here, some like rising zeppelins, some like dead goldfish. In Week 8, most of the zeppelins appeared to have Hatfield written on the side, as Hatfield teams were 6-2 in the first week of Hatfield v. McCoy competition. Conference leaders Arya Ready For Some Football and Ashville Vipers both won, moving to 7-1 and 6-2 respectively. This had Arya keeping their top spot and Vipers breaking free from a 3-way tie to solely own number one in the McCoy conference. In the process, the Vipers put a stop to Unfettered Valor’s giant-killing. Arya Ready posted a week high 119 points, which was also scored by Projected 15th who was the only other McCoy victor, being Practice Squad 119-74. With the falling the way the did in Week 8, the race to the Fighting Four stays tight with six different teams within two games of their respective conference number 1 spots. With four weeks still to go, this horror movie is far from over. Hope there are plenty of bag of corn syrup and red food coloring ready for the finale.

And the awards go to…
The WRKM Axe:Arya Ready For Some Football continues to lead the charge with their Week 8 score of 119 sending their WRKM Axe points per game rising like a zombie bite-induced fever from 100.3 to 102.6.
Syrup of Ipecac: Stick close with Management on this one…while Dusty Desert Dogs’ Week 1 total of 151pts earned them the Syrup, in Weeks 2 thru 8 they have averaged 80 points per game, that’s 71 points under their Week 1 score…kind of like 71 inches, which is one short of 72 inches, or six feet…six feet under. Phew, that was exhausting, someone hand Management some candy corn.
Hello Kitty Sticker: Ryan’s Express earns the Halloween Black Cat Hello Kitty Sticker for taking an easy win in Week 8, 78-50…that’s the second Sticker in a row for Ryan’s Express and it is also the third time in the past four weeks the sticker was earned by someone facing a 50pt opponent.
10th Man Award: Practice Squad gets the 10th Man Award for leaving a meager 15pts on their bench, the lowest points missed by a 10th Man Award recipient since Week 11 of 2016 when Maryland Mad Bombers left 12 points on their bench.
Keep Calm BannerChristmasland Wraiths can’t wait to be another holiday closer to Christmas as they still are fighting to get out of the basement with their 69.1 points per game.

Damn Lies
“There are three types of lies – lies, damn lies, and statistics.” – Benjamin Disraeli
” – Week 8 2019 with Arya Ready For Some Fla-blah-blah averaging 102.6 points per game is the first time since the 2014 season that a team has average in the triple digits this deep in the season (Maryland Mad Bombers, 104.1 pts/gm)
– Week 8, the first of Hatfield v. McCoy, was the closest week of competition of 2018, averaging just an 18.5 margin of victory for the winning teams
– 2019 Week 8 has seen the most teams ever to be at 3-5 with 5, and Arya Ready is the first 7+ win team in Week 8 since 2017
”

Next Week
“This isn’t going to end well.” – from The Dead Don’t Die
This is the beginning of the end. At this very moment, everyone technically still has a shot at The Fighting Four. Even Christmasland Wraiths who haven’t won since way back in Week 4, a full 28 Days Later. Since then it’s been 30 Days of Night. Eh, it’s been a while. But even them winning out could land them a spot in The Fighting Four. But for them and many other teams, each new match-up is a bite into a piece of candy some stranger you’ve never met gave you two hours ago while you were wearing a mask which may or may not have something in it that requires years of dental work and probably a few psychiatrist sessions. Needless to say, these last four weeks are going to be a Thriller. Will that next game tell you to Get Out? Or will your roster picks prove that you have The Shining (minus the elevator of blood)? Either way, What We Do In The Shadows while determining that flex spot in our line-up may mean the difference between a win or a loss. Good luck (cue the Vincent Price laugh).

Sherlock’s Deduction (5-2)
“I never guess. It is a shocking habit.” – Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock is as hot a that fireball shot the wild couple down the street is handing out to adults during the trick-or-treating rounds. Here’s a Skittles chaser for that 90 proof success: Sherlock picks Fighting Irish Illini to defeat Scrappy Doo’s. Zoinks!

Boo – Management

Rankings

Rankings
“Comparison is the death of joy.” – Mark Twain
Rankings.
For a segment of the football fan world, mention of the word alone can send someone into a twitchy, often profane, diatribe rife with bewilderment, conpiracy theories, and general furious rationalization, or so Management has heard. To make matters worse, there are so many ranking systems (standings, scoring, power rankings, AP polls, coaches polls, official committees, news outlets) that it only adds confusion to the mix. Management figured, why shouldn’t The FBF be in on the fun?
To be clear – this is all ESPN’s fault. ESPN has had the audacity to suggest they can predict the final season rankings of The FBF, something they’ve been doing since the moment after we finished our draft. And, they adjust their predictions, changing their mind based on player news, roster changes, the weather, and a short survey presumably handed out to three year olds. Well, sorry, making awful predictions and even awfuller jokes is Management’s job, so we’re taking back our market share. Plus, more rankings means everyone gets to cherrypick the ranking that best suits their bragging over the watercooler, or that happy hour beer, or that “”You’re Going to be So Mediocre at This Like Everyone Else”” parenting book.
So, take a look and see which suits your fancy. ESPN had a preseason prediction, and they have their real time predictions (shown above is Wednesday night’s, good chance some of those surveys came back since then and ESPN shuffled things up accordingly). Management has their own in-house data crunching machine which may or may not be a dog named after a fictional sleuth. And, to make sure everyone feels some love, you may find Power Awful Ranking is right up your alley. Complaints and feedback can be written on a napkin and subsequently eaten.

And the awards go to…
The WRKM Axe:Arya Ready For Some Football hangs onto the Axe and stays in the triple digits, averaging 100.3 points per game through seven weeks.
Syrup of Ipecac: Yes, Dusty Desert Dogs. Yes, 151 points. Yes, we’ll let you know. Thank you, buh-bye.
Hello Kitty Sticker: Ryan’s Express scores 56 points and manages to double-up their opponent Practice Squad who score 28 points. Shocking stat – 28 points is not the lowest score in FBF history, nor is Ryan’s Express’ 56 points the lowest point total to earn a win.
10th Man Award: In Week 7, Tucson Javelinas, who lost by 2, left 29 points on the bench. This is the most points left on the bench since Week 7 of 2018 when Arya Ready left 29 points on the bench.
Keep Calm BannerChristmasland Wraiths still trying to relinquish The Banner, but own it in Week 7 while averaging 67.3 points per game.

Damn Lies
“There are three types of lies – lies, damn lies, and statistics.” – Benjamin Disraeli
– Through seven weeks, Arya Ready For Some Football (6-1) and Maryland Mad Bombers (5-2) sit atop the Hatfields with a combined record of 11-3…two of those losses were dealt by Unfettered Valor (3-4) in Weeks 6 and 7 respectively…Unfettered Valor’s next opponent? 5-2 Ashville Vipers.
– 2019 is tied (yes, exactly, with 2014) as the third highest scoring season through 7 weeks with 9.036 pts (1st – 2018 w/9,648; 2nd – 2016 w/9,334)
– Two teams won while scoring 56…one team scored 28…Week 7 of 2019 must be some sort of low scoring record for a week, right? Wrong. The 1,175 of Week 7 still isn’t as low as Week 2’s total of 1,164…but to find a week before that in which The FBF scored less than 1,200 points you’ll have to go all the way back to Week 9 of 2017.

Next Week
“Didn’t you guys ever hear of Valley Forge or Bunker Hill?” – Apollo Creed
Oh, it’s on. You know what next week is, right? After seven weeks of knockdown, drag-out mayhem in your living room with your nuclear family, it’s time to stumble out into the street and give your neighbor a haymaker. That’s right, all games from here on out (five glorious weeks) will be Hafield v. McCoy. Next week is the week for the Hatfields to sneak in some wins because based on Management’s analysis, contrary to previous seasons (Hatfields have owned the win column against McCoys from 2014 – 2018), McCoys are looking to be the stronger of the two this year. Management is even going on record that The Fighting Four will consist of 1 Hatfield team and 3 McCoy teams. If Management is right we’ll bring this up later, if not, meh…

Sherlock’s Deduction (4-2)
“I never guess. It is a shocking habit.” – Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock racked up another accurate prediction with Week 7 action. Doggy treat for you sir. With The FBF moving into cross-division play, things get a little tricky. For the kick-off of Hatfield v. McCoy in 2019, Sherlock selects an in-house rivalry that spans divisions, and he does so in a bold way. While Unfettered Valor has played giant killer for the past two weeks, in Week 8 Sherlock picks Ashville Vipers to stop Unfettered Valor’s upset train in this matrimonial clash.

Sincerely – Management

The Losers’ Club

The Losers’ Club
“Welcome to the Losers’ Club, a$$hole!” – It
In Week 6, 2015 it was Minneapolis Pale Horses. In Week 6, 2019 it was Unfettered Valor. What were they? They teams that foiled Arya Ready For Some Football from becoming the first ever 6-0 team in The FBF. Arya Ready still sits atop the Hafield division sharing a 5-1 record with Maryland Mad Bombers. Ryan’s Express and Practice Squad are next in line but possibly passing in the night as Express is on a 2 game slide while Practice Squad has won 3 straight.

Dusty Desert Dogs has one two straight and owns the top spot of McCoy at 5-1, with The Jalopy Faces and Ashville Vipers at 4-2 having rebounded from Week 5 losses in Week 6. Fighting Irish Illini and Pacific Mighty “”O”” are in .500-land at 3-3. The pile of teams (6 in total) at 2-4 are too many to mention. Christmasland Wraiths are still following the 2018 Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins path to success with a slow start at 1-5.

And the awards go to…
The WRKM Axe:Hang on tight…so first, correction, after Week 4, it was Dusty Desert Dogs whom was the first owner of The Axe with 96.8 pts/gm…since then, in both weeks 5 and 6, Arya Ready For Some Football has gained The Axe, averaging 104.8 pts/gm through 5 weeks, and 100.7 pts/gm through 6 weeks.
Syrup of Ipecac: Dusty Desert Dogs still with their Week 1 performance of 151 points.
Hello Kitty Sticker: In both weeks 5 and 6 The FBF saw a 50 point performance, both of which doled out Hello Kitty Stickers for their opponents, those being Practice Squad in Week 5 and Maryland Mad Bombers in Week 6.
10th Man Award: In Week 5, Tucson Javelinas earned the 10th Man by leaving 24pts on their bench…in Week 6 there were two teams who left 21 points on their bench – Pacific Mighty “O” and Ryan’s Express.
Keep Calm BannerChristmasland Wraiths can see their season on the horizon, but have some climbing to do as they are 2019’s first owner of the Keep Calm Banner, averaging 65.3 points per game through the first six weeks.

Damn Lies
“There are three types of lies – lies, damn lies, and statistics.” – Benjamin Disraeli
• From 2017 through Week 6 of 2019, Arya Ready For Some Football and Dusty Desert Dogs have combined to own The WRKM Axe for 81.0% of the time (9/21 weeks and 8/21 weeks respectively)
• In Week 6 Ryan’s Express co-received the 10th Man Award for leaving 21 points on their bench, kinda…bench QB Darnold scored 19 points, while starting QB Mariota scored -2 points
• After 5 weeks, Arya Ready became only the fifth team a team has been without a loss through five weeks…weird wording? That’s because In 2013 and 2017 Projected 15th was 4-0-1, as was Minneapolis Pale Horses in 2015. But there has been one other 5-0 team – Arya Ready in 2015.

Next Week
“You shouldn’t thank us too much. Hanging with us makes you a loser, too.” – It
Through six weeks, there are six teams which are 2-4. Through the first six weeks of 2017 and 2018 combined there were six teams that had a 2-4 record. This year’s gang of the 2-4 teams boasts five of the six Black Sheep in FBF’s history. Strength in numbers, until you look at their records. Will one of these teams claim the 2019 Black Sheep, or are they just a group of teams who are already SOL?

Sherlock’s Deduction (3-2)
“I never guess. It is a shocking habit.” – Sherlock Holmes

In one of the two 3-3 battles of Week 7, Sherlock picks Ryan’s Express to beat Practice Squad.

Sincerely – Management

Management Complained, You Listened

Management Complained, You Listened
“You talked, we listened.” – Some Manager Somewhere
In the Week 3 blog Management literally referenced the Biblical apocalypse ad nauseum to convey their concern for the presence of four 3-0 teams in The FBF, while also secretly wringing their hands over the existence of three 0-3 teams. Well, with an eye roll and some mumbled profanity, The FBF answered. Three of the four 3-0 teams took a fall (there was a 3-0 v. 3-0 match-up, so they couldn’t all lose). All three of the 0-3 teams won, including one Christmasland Wraiths who took down the then-undefeated The Jalopy Faces. So is all right in the world? Yes, actually, it seems to be the case – see the statistics section below for more.

And the awards go to…
The WRKM Axe:The season’s first owner of The Axe is Arya Ready For Some Football with an FBF high of 96.8 points per game through the first four games.
Syrup of Ipecac: Dusty Desert Dogs still holding it down with their Week 1 151 points.
Hello Kitty Sticker: While holding The Axe, Arya got a free ride in Week 4 with Maryland Mad Bombers only putting 38 points on the board.
10th Man Award: Cleaning up on awards in Week 4, Arya Ready For Some Football also gets the 10th Man Award after leaving Chris Godwin on the bench, costing themselves 26 points, but not the game.

Damn Lies
“There are three types of lies – lies, damn lies, and statistics.” – Benjamin Disraeli
– While Week 3 saw four 3-0 teams for the first time in FBF history, Week 4 brings us another first, that being that there are no teams which are 0-4
– While Arya Ready For Some Football didn’t need their 26 missed points to win in Week 4, if they had played Chris Godwin, they would have earned The WRKM Axe with a points average of 103.3 points per game, which would have been the highest average points through four weeks since 2013 when Projected 15th averaged 109.8 points per game through four weeks
– In Week 4, teams that were 3-0 average 59.8 points, while teams that were 0-3 averaged 88.7 points…the FBF average of the other teams was 79.9 points

Next Week
“So you’re saying there’s a chance.” – Lloyd Christmas
After The FBF seemed poised for doom, Week 4 reshuffled the deck and now anything seems possible. Don’t believe Management? In Week 4 of 2018 Cottonheaded Ninnymuggins had their first win, moving to 1-3, and went on to win the 2018 Black Sheep. What does that mean? That means after Week 4 of this season, every team still has a historically proven chance to become the 2019 Black Sheep.

Sherlock’s Deduction 2-2
“I never guess. It is a shocking habit.” – Sherlock Holmes

In a stunner of inebriated brazeness last week, Sherlock successfully predicted an upset by choosing 0-3 Christmasland Wraiths to punch out 3-0 Jalopy Faces. For an encore, for this week Sherlock picks Pacific Mighty “O” to upset Ashville Vipers.

Sincerely – Management